Full Circle

I glanced at the calendar. September 26^th. Nitya’s Northwest flight would be touching down in fifteen minutes. Time was moving very slowly.

I looked at my watch. 6:45 in the evening. I relaxed in the waiting lounge and closed my eyes.

“Pick me up. 7pm arrival. Northwest from Amsterdam” Nitya told me yesterday.

I sighed. There was this conference call to be attended at 7pm. Nitya would never accept such an excuse. For her, if someone was in the office after 6pm, he or she did not know how to manage time.

Once I had an argument with her that sometimes there arose situations which demanded extra hours at the office, but then she took my weekly activities report from my computer and showed me that my efficiency was somewhere near 50%.

"If only you had worked the full day instead of mailing me all those crazy Hungarian Aristocrat jokes, you would have finished the job right on target."

I shook my head, “That is the perfect world you are talking about. It is not possible to leave at 6pm everyday.”

“I don’t believe that. Perfecting something requires skill and determination. You can work towards the goal no matter how inefficient you are at the time of start.”

She always spoke the final sentence in any conversation we had. She would convince me to subscribe to her school of thought and later use that fact against me.

Many a time, I was reminded of the wonderfully simple world I had experienced as a bachelor. Married men kept mum about the complexities of life after walking down the aisle. Sometimes they would share it but I didn’t pay attention.

“Are you sleeping? This is a Trans-Atlantic call for Chrissakes” I was thrown back to reality.

“The client insists on having this call at 7pm Nitya, what can I do?” I told her.

Nitya was silent for a moment and then she softly told me, “Today is September 26^th Dear Siddharth, and if I remember correctly, it happens to be your wedding day”.

Click! She did not wait for my response.

She sounded cold enough to make me lock my desk, transfer the responsibility of attending the meeting to Nirmal Kumar and drive my 1985 Chevrolet to the airport.

I felt really guilty. But for Nitya’s reminder – I wouldn’t have remembered the occasion.

I loved my wife very much. It was love at first sight when I saw her in India. I had to leave India within a month of getting introduced to her. She reciprocated my feelings and we got married though parents on either side did not approve our marriage.

“Announcing the arrival of NW-KLM 0091 from Amsterdam.” I opened my eyes and walked to the arrival gate. The flight was right on time. I just couldn’t wait to see Nitya. The business class passenger came out first. Then she emerged from the crowd. She had been in India for only a month but it felt like an eternity to me.

When she saw me there, her face lit up – she ran into my hands and hugged me tightly.

"I refuse to admit it but I missed you! you know! Guys back home love you really." She paused, " and I too love you, Mr. Siddharth".

I smiled and led her to the car.

“Let me drive it.” Nitya took the wheel and smoothly merged on to the carpooling lane.

“So I hear you’ve tried to drive in India. What did I tell you?” I asked her sternly.

She laughed, “Come on! You are being paranoid. You know? I should have listened to you. Traffic rules there are simply non-existent. I really can’t drive there at all. This feels so easy good… I missed it.” She locked the car at seventy miles per hour and asked me, “Ekkadiki velthunnaamu?” (Where are we going?)

“Tortilla Palace” I told her, “Time to celebrate September 26^th”

I couldn’t manage to directly propose to her because I had to leave the country on an urgent assignment. The day I landed in the US, I called her and tried to propose…But no words came out of my mouth. It was as if I had forgotten both English and Telugu completely.

She understood my situation and asked me to chat on the net.

I had always been a great chatter box on the net. When we finally logged on to Yahoo Messenger, I could really impress her very much with my subtle sense of humor that I had never known existed. We had lengthy chat sessions spanning over days and nights.

There was no formal proposal by either of us. We just knew it and played along. Our parents opposed the alliance vehemently for trivial reasons. We were firm on our decision and went to Arya Samaj after informing our parents. It was just an FYI for them.

Nitya shook me up. The dinner had been served. "Thinking about the affair?" she smiled. I shook my head and then said, "Yes".

She suddenly remembered something. "Where is Nirmal?”

A mischievous smile appeared on my face. “He is attending the conference call at 7pm.” I looked into her eyes trying to read them. She could not see directly into my eyes and immediately turned away. I just waited for her to become normal.

“What will be your reaction if I say I love Nirmal” she asked me slowly.

I had been expecting it for some time. But the suddenness of it unsettled me for a few moments. I didn’t know what to say. I just stared at her. She was very anxious… and very disturbed. I drank some water and asked, “Am I supposed to react?”

Nitya nodded quickly, “Doesn’t matter. You’ve already reacted. I could read that. Now I want your opinion.”

I didn’t feel like speaking and started munching the tortilla wrap. She stood up, came round the table, put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Please Papa… Say yes”

I did all that Nitya was doing now – Twenty five years ago. I pleaded with my parents. I begged them to accept Vidhi. They did not relent. “Memu oppukomu. Tarvata nee ishtam.” (We don’t agree. It is up to you now.)

We thought they would relent later. However they maintained their stance and boycotted the wedding. Later we immigrated to the United States.

It was now my turn. It was an opportunity for me to explore the other side of such things. My daughter wanted me to accept Nirmal. Could I? He was a great guy. So why should I not accept him?

I stood up from the table, patted her on the shoulder and walked out from the restaurant.

The fact that Nitya was in love with someone was driving me crazy. She did not even consult me. Now she was just asking for my permission. It was quite disturbing to me. Was I not supposed to know her in and out? Was she not supposed to keep me updated? Who was Nirmal anyway to suddenly enter between my daughter and myself? Who was he to take her attention away from me?

Nitya came out running. She was aghast. “What happened, Papa? Talk to me!” she shook me anxiously.

Life with Vidhi was great. It was an ideal life. We loved and cherished each and every moment of our companionship. Nitya was the apple of our eyes. It was picture perfect. We had everything – Money, friends, love – everything but relatives. We couldn’t go back to India because folks back home didn’t want to see us. We felt homesick at times but the fact that we couldn’t do anything about it – enabled us to get over such feelings. We had to cope with the reality.

And then, one inebriated gentleman who didn’t understand how dangerous DUI was – rammed his 1969 Pickup into Vidhi's Buick killing her on the spot. Nitya was six years old then. My world came down crashing. I left everyone, everything back home just to be with Vidhi. And she took the easy way out. Doctors told me that she probably wouldn’t have felt anything. I was furious. I had to lead the rest of my life feeling the void created by her.

It was because of Nitya that I lived on. The whole world seemed to be only Nitya. I ensured that she had everything. She was a bright kid. Over the years, we had learnt to talk about “the incident” without getting emotional. I needed Nitya’s support as much as she needed mine to get on with life.

Now she wanted to marry Nirmal and gift me yet another irreplaceable void in my life. I had Nitya to handle Vidhi’s absence. I would be all alone to tackle Nitya’s transformation from a loving daughter to a responsible wife.

Should I say No? No, I couldn’t do that. I knew it. I couldn’t hurt Nitya. I wouldn’t even dream of doing it. But then, should I agree? A thought at the back of my mind was yelling clearly – ‘Say Yes, Say Yes’.

I was thoroughly confused. I wanted some fresh air to think about it. I went to the car – waited for Nitya to get in and drove to Metro Park, a community park in our neighborhood.

Vidhi and I used to take Nitya there every evening.

It was dark. There was a cool breeze. I leaned on the bonnet and looked up at sky. Milky Way was visible clearly. It was one of the advantages of not living in the downtown.

I was reminded of Nitya’s reaction when I first showed her the Milky Way. She absolutely loved it. I told her that Vidhi was one of the stars in the Milky Way. She believed it. I believed it too. We used to go on trips just to admire Milky Way and its grandeur.

“Papa, Paala puntha (Milky Way) – Look closely papa. Can’t you feel Mom talking to us from there?” Nitya clutched my hand with her head resting on my shoulder.

I nodded. I could really feel it. My entire life flashed in front of my eyes. If only we had parental consent, our lives would have been fuller – richer. Vidhi wouldn’t want her daughter to face it all.

I was beginning to see the reality. It was biting me. One day I had to let Nitya go. It was inevitable. Nirmal would be the best husband for her. Why was I still in doubt?

I silently patted on her shoulder, “Invite Nirmal to dinner tomorrow.”

Nitya could not hide her happiness. “Thank you papa.. Thank you.. I love you so much” she hugged me warmly. Then she looked up and said, “Thanks Mom”.

Vidhi too smiled from up there.

The End.