The Village
I was talking to a friend overseas a couple of weeks ago and he told me in simple words that he had fallen asleep for an hour while watching "The Village" and that he still was able to follow the rest of the movie.
That, my dear readers, aptly sums up "The Village" for you.
"The Village" is the latest Twist-In-The-Second-Half series introduced by M. Night Shyamalan ever since his swashbuckling debut with The Sixth Sense. That his other movies are not so swashbuckling is a matter of debate but he seems to have completely ignored the importance of an engrossing screenplay.
Nothing much happens in The Village but for the much awaited twist in the second half. In fact you start your countdown right from the first scene, "OK, So this should be the twist in the tale. No, that explains it. But if that's true then those incidents should never have happened..."
And in this guessing game, you end up completely ignoring what is happening on the screen. In fact the first half is so boring that the only interesting thing about it was the thought that there is going to be a twist.
So when the twist actually comes you heave a sigh of relief and then you try to act natural by being stunned by the twist. That is what you are supposed to do in a Night Shyamalan's movie. Ain't it?
I am not going to tell you the story of this movie here because sans the twist, there is no story in the movie and if I tell you what the twist is, you cannot see the movie. There is one area where this movie is different from Shyamalan's other works. This has two twists. Wow! An additional twist for the same ticket price. Too good. So what are you waiting for? Get your popcorn and rush to your nearest theatre. You should really rush because they might take the movie off the marquee anytime soon.
Monday, September 27, 2004
Friday, September 24, 2004
RSS Takes on the Internet
Mumbai: March 31, 2003: (Morning News)
In a very surprising move, the chief brain behind RSS, Sri Sudarshan comdemned the recent spurt in networked computers saying that it is against Hindu tradition.
"We value hindu tradition," he said, "and Internet is clearly dividing the people. With the number of computers increasing without bounds, the number of people whiling away quality time in the cyberspace is also increasing thereby reducing interaction amongst even family members forget about outsiders."
Sudarshan appeared pretty relaxed after his decision of banning the Honeymoon culture had been met with enthusiastic response from both the Hindu and the Islam commmunities of the country.
"Our intentions are pretty clear and secular. We feel India has a way of life called Hinduism. It is possible that Moslems and Christians can live with us without degrading their values. The only thing is they need to get into the system of Hinduism. Be a Roman in Rome!"
We asked him casually about the explosion of Internet in India. He was quick to respond, "In a way it is nice because people are exposed to information which would otherwise be locked in seldom opened books and journals. However, only 5% of the Internet has good resources. The remaining 95% is highly hazardous material and is totally unacceptable to anybody leave alone the children. We hence feel that we can do without this technology. We feel that family values and the spirit of Hinduism are much more important. Tell me, how many teenagers now participate in house warming sessions in the evenings nowadays? Everyone is happy chatting in Yahoo or visiting obscene sites. This is not Hinduism. This is western culture and we will not allow western culture to invade India through Internet. If you are a true Hindu you would burn your computer and get back your moral values."
When we reminded him that many RSS Swayamsevaks are actively participating in promoting the ideology of RSS via the Net, he didn't get agitated. "I agree many of them are using the Internet. But they use it only as a means of harmless information exchange. Every RSS swayamsevak has the self-restraint to manage himself on the cyberspace. I am not worried about them. I am worried about the common folk of India, especially the children, who cannot resist the temptation and get addicted to the cyberspace. They should realize that there is some life outside the Web and that it is much more important than anything else."
At the end of our conversation, we couldn't stop admiring his frank nature. Though most of us didn't agree with his ideology, we were mesmerized by his clarity of ideas.
"I am also a normal human being," He said smiling offering us masala chai, "I am opposing the Internet just for making the Hindus better persons. As far as I am concerned religion plays no role. It is the way of life that matters."
We then asked him what step his organization would be taking to revolt against Internet. "Nothing dramatic," He said, "We cannot go to each and every house and destroy the modems. We can only request people not to use the Net. This, we will do extensively. We hope that one day in future, children will come home from school, play in the outfield, study, spend some quality time with the elders of the family absorbing their wisdom. We believe that day would surely come. It is just," Sudarshan stopped for a brief moment, "around the corner."
Associated Fools Press. (This is just for fun. Don't sue me please!)
Mumbai: March 31, 2003: (Morning News)
In a very surprising move, the chief brain behind RSS, Sri Sudarshan comdemned the recent spurt in networked computers saying that it is against Hindu tradition.
"We value hindu tradition," he said, "and Internet is clearly dividing the people. With the number of computers increasing without bounds, the number of people whiling away quality time in the cyberspace is also increasing thereby reducing interaction amongst even family members forget about outsiders."
Sudarshan appeared pretty relaxed after his decision of banning the Honeymoon culture had been met with enthusiastic response from both the Hindu and the Islam commmunities of the country.
"Our intentions are pretty clear and secular. We feel India has a way of life called Hinduism. It is possible that Moslems and Christians can live with us without degrading their values. The only thing is they need to get into the system of Hinduism. Be a Roman in Rome!"
We asked him casually about the explosion of Internet in India. He was quick to respond, "In a way it is nice because people are exposed to information which would otherwise be locked in seldom opened books and journals. However, only 5% of the Internet has good resources. The remaining 95% is highly hazardous material and is totally unacceptable to anybody leave alone the children. We hence feel that we can do without this technology. We feel that family values and the spirit of Hinduism are much more important. Tell me, how many teenagers now participate in house warming sessions in the evenings nowadays? Everyone is happy chatting in Yahoo or visiting obscene sites. This is not Hinduism. This is western culture and we will not allow western culture to invade India through Internet. If you are a true Hindu you would burn your computer and get back your moral values."
When we reminded him that many RSS Swayamsevaks are actively participating in promoting the ideology of RSS via the Net, he didn't get agitated. "I agree many of them are using the Internet. But they use it only as a means of harmless information exchange. Every RSS swayamsevak has the self-restraint to manage himself on the cyberspace. I am not worried about them. I am worried about the common folk of India, especially the children, who cannot resist the temptation and get addicted to the cyberspace. They should realize that there is some life outside the Web and that it is much more important than anything else."
At the end of our conversation, we couldn't stop admiring his frank nature. Though most of us didn't agree with his ideology, we were mesmerized by his clarity of ideas.
"I am also a normal human being," He said smiling offering us masala chai, "I am opposing the Internet just for making the Hindus better persons. As far as I am concerned religion plays no role. It is the way of life that matters."
We then asked him what step his organization would be taking to revolt against Internet. "Nothing dramatic," He said, "We cannot go to each and every house and destroy the modems. We can only request people not to use the Net. This, we will do extensively. We hope that one day in future, children will come home from school, play in the outfield, study, spend some quality time with the elders of the family absorbing their wisdom. We believe that day would surely come. It is just," Sudarshan stopped for a brief moment, "around the corner."
Associated Fools Press. (This is just for fun. Don't sue me please!)
Lacto Divinity!
As a person who was affected by this Ganesha milk gulping episode, let me tell you about my experiences that day. I woke up in the morning when my mother was looking at the Ganesha idol in our pooja room rather suspiciously. "What are you doing Mom?" I asked her with the intention of taking the conversation towards getting some bed coffee.
"I am not sure. Do you find something wrong with this Ganesha" she asked me.
I rubbed my eyes and examined the idol. Nothing remarkable about it. It was just a blackstone idol of Ganesha. The tip of the crown seemed to be a little chipped off. "It is in good shape Mom, we just need to polish it a little I guess" I told her. She shook her head. "Why is he not drinking any milk then?"
I did not understand her statement. "What? Come again?". She was still looking at the idol."Ganesha is not drinking milk in our house."
I searched for our cat. Might be his name was Ganesha. I always referred to that cat as "The cat" but various members of my family had various nick names for him. "May be he is sick." I proposed a solution. My mother looked at me seriously. "Ganesha doesn't get sick."
Just then, our servant maid rushed in. "Madam! Ganesha drank our milk. Ganesha drank our milk." She was very excited. "Look Sitamma, I am sorry Ganesha drank your milk. I will pay for that. How much?" I was getting fed up of this cat. He always drank the wrong milk.
Sitamma was overexcited, "why money? oh Ganesha drank our milk. I am thrilled. I don't know what to do!" and she ran away perhaps to convey the news to the rest of Nelloreans.
I turned to my mother. "Before I go mad, kindly tell me what this Ganesha episode all about."
She told me. I listened to her with a blank expression on my face. "Don't tell me you believe this" I couldn't believe she fell pray for such a rumor. She calmly switched on the TV. Doordarshan was showing a temple in Maharastra... People were lined up to see the idol drink milk. "Half a liter is being a sold at 10 Rs saar!" said the watchman. I nodded. Suddenly BBC came live with a milk drinking episode in London.
I put on my shirt and dashed to the front door only to stop inches before the gate. I ran back into the house and asked my mom, "Is it only Ganesha or every God form is drinking milk?" I did not want to run one hundred meters to the nearest Ganesha temple if Saraswati was also drinking milk. Her temple was just fifty meters away.
When I reached the temple, there was a big line. People were dressed up in formal ethnic wear holding cans of milk bought perhaps in the black market. My turn came one hour later. Vinayaka was looking at me kindly. The purohit, a very impatient guy he was, asked me roughly "Aye? Where's your milk can? Don't have one? Idiot. Get out of the line. There are people waiting." I was pushed aside but I could stand there to see the drama. Milk was poured in a small container and kept near the Ganesha idol with the brink just in front of His trunk.
Surprise! Surprise! The milk disappeared from the container. "Bojja Ganapathaiah" everybody cried. I was baffled. I tried to see if there were any pipes running from that place. It took me five minutes to come up with a plausible scientific explanation. "Eureka" I shouted and turned back only to be greeted by a "Yuvashakti" organizer. He had a steel hook in his hand. He was patiently demonstrating that even his hook could drink milk. But Indians! and Nelloreans further! They just ignored him.
But I do have one reason to believe it was all created by Ganesha... The Mass Hypnotism. I hadn't seen any such mass hysteria program engulfing the entire globe until then and I am confident (pakka, lock keejiye) that I wouldn't be hearing about another one of this proportion in far and distant future.
As a person who was affected by this Ganesha milk gulping episode, let me tell you about my experiences that day. I woke up in the morning when my mother was looking at the Ganesha idol in our pooja room rather suspiciously. "What are you doing Mom?" I asked her with the intention of taking the conversation towards getting some bed coffee.
"I am not sure. Do you find something wrong with this Ganesha" she asked me.
I rubbed my eyes and examined the idol. Nothing remarkable about it. It was just a blackstone idol of Ganesha. The tip of the crown seemed to be a little chipped off. "It is in good shape Mom, we just need to polish it a little I guess" I told her. She shook her head. "Why is he not drinking any milk then?"
I did not understand her statement. "What? Come again?". She was still looking at the idol."Ganesha is not drinking milk in our house."
I searched for our cat. Might be his name was Ganesha. I always referred to that cat as "The cat" but various members of my family had various nick names for him. "May be he is sick." I proposed a solution. My mother looked at me seriously. "Ganesha doesn't get sick."
Just then, our servant maid rushed in. "Madam! Ganesha drank our milk. Ganesha drank our milk." She was very excited. "Look Sitamma, I am sorry Ganesha drank your milk. I will pay for that. How much?" I was getting fed up of this cat. He always drank the wrong milk.
Sitamma was overexcited, "why money? oh Ganesha drank our milk. I am thrilled. I don't know what to do!" and she ran away perhaps to convey the news to the rest of Nelloreans.
I turned to my mother. "Before I go mad, kindly tell me what this Ganesha episode all about."
She told me. I listened to her with a blank expression on my face. "Don't tell me you believe this" I couldn't believe she fell pray for such a rumor. She calmly switched on the TV. Doordarshan was showing a temple in Maharastra... People were lined up to see the idol drink milk. "Half a liter is being a sold at 10 Rs saar!" said the watchman. I nodded. Suddenly BBC came live with a milk drinking episode in London.
I put on my shirt and dashed to the front door only to stop inches before the gate. I ran back into the house and asked my mom, "Is it only Ganesha or every God form is drinking milk?" I did not want to run one hundred meters to the nearest Ganesha temple if Saraswati was also drinking milk. Her temple was just fifty meters away.
When I reached the temple, there was a big line. People were dressed up in formal ethnic wear holding cans of milk bought perhaps in the black market. My turn came one hour later. Vinayaka was looking at me kindly. The purohit, a very impatient guy he was, asked me roughly "Aye? Where's your milk can? Don't have one? Idiot. Get out of the line. There are people waiting." I was pushed aside but I could stand there to see the drama. Milk was poured in a small container and kept near the Ganesha idol with the brink just in front of His trunk.
Surprise! Surprise! The milk disappeared from the container. "Bojja Ganapathaiah" everybody cried. I was baffled. I tried to see if there were any pipes running from that place. It took me five minutes to come up with a plausible scientific explanation. "Eureka" I shouted and turned back only to be greeted by a "Yuvashakti" organizer. He had a steel hook in his hand. He was patiently demonstrating that even his hook could drink milk. But Indians! and Nelloreans further! They just ignored him.
But I do have one reason to believe it was all created by Ganesha... The Mass Hypnotism. I hadn't seen any such mass hysteria program engulfing the entire globe until then and I am confident (pakka, lock keejiye) that I wouldn't be hearing about another one of this proportion in far and distant future.
Review of "Gudumba Shankar" - A Telugu Movie
Gudumba Shankar
It so happened that I didn’t like the movie when I saw it for the first time. However pressure from the Home Minister who happens to be a die hard fan of Pawan Kalyan compelled me to watch it again. Surprisingly, the movie seemed quite alright this time. Probably because I watched the movie as a normal moviegoer and not as a Pawan Kalyan fan.
Coming from Platypus, you’d expect a technical review of the movie. However this movie has to be analyzed in all angles because technology is not the prime focus area here. So pardon me for dwelling outside my area of specialization. If you feel I should restrict myself to technical reviews, please let me know by commenting on this review.
This movie is quite opposite to Gharshana in its treatment. Gharshana perfected the art of Rapid Fire Editing. Kudos to the editor of that movie. Gudumba Shankar on the other hand specializes in lengthy shots be it in a song sequence or an action sequence. The actors have to be commended for making this possible. (A lengthy shot or a single-take shot is defined as a series of events captured by the camera in one take.)
Check out the song “Killi Killi Killi”. Pawan Kalyan and Natanya Singh perform so many dance movements in a perfectly choreographed sequence and the scenes do not seem to end at all. I love these single-take scenes. It takes quite an effort to get it right.
The movie has to be experienced as a comedy thriller and not as a Pawan Kalyan’s comeback movie. Don’t try to find Pawan Kalyan in the movie. Most of the times, you won’t find him. You will find only Gudumba Shankar. It is his movie. This guy, an ordinary – very much relatable crook who will do anything for a penny. He doesn’t take on fifteen guys single-handedly. He is not interested in reforming the world. So his fight sequences are done brilliantly and believably and also hilariously.
All those who expect Bruce Lee fights in the movie – may please rise from your seats and go home. This movie is not going to offer you anything in those lines. However this movie offers you something which you probably will not be able to find in any other Telugu movie – Be it in the past, present or future. A literally roll-on-the-floor-laugh riot.
When I said Technology was not the focus area of the movie, I did not mean that the movie lacked technical finesse. It is brilliant on the technical front too. Check out the chase sequence shot on a Scorpio and two trucks. It is very real. You can actually see Pawan and Meera clearly in the Scorpio which is being attacked from all the sides by the trucks. It is apparent that this high speed chase was a real one. I can’t say whether Pawan and Meera had lost their minds to risk it all for a movie scene but the end result is definitely two notches above spectacular. Reminds me of a scene from Manmadhudu when Nagarjuna’s car collides head on with a truck. No camera gimmicks. Just the car and the truck. Clear shots. Maximum impact on the viewer. The Scorpio chase in this movie leaves you with a similar feeling lingering on. How could they do it?
The in-line humor is the USP of this movie. There jokes and secondary jokes and sometimes tertiary jokes. If you are not overwhelmed by the first joke, the second joke follows it almost immediately and before you start laughing for the second, the third is already on air.
Pawan has a knack of imitating the other heroes in Tamil and Telugu industries. Look out for his performances as Kamal Hasan, Rajini Kanth, Mohan Babu, Sai Kumar and the one and only NTR (Sr).
The movie does have its share of problems. The storyline has an uncanny resemblance to some of the major hits of the past. The screenplay, though straightforward and to the point in the first half, falters a bit in the second half. The last one hour of the movie looks more like a series of disjointed episodes. The length of the movie could have been trimmed by at least half an hour. The climax looks like a last minute patch effort. When you are pretty sure that they all lived happily ever after, you realize that there is a whole lot of footage after “ever after”.
Pawan Kalyan has a great comic timing. However he does go overboard in some of the scenes resulting in an artificial feel to the movie. At times it feels like the movie is loud and cacophonic.
Overall, it is a great entertainer. As said earlier, the best way to enjoy this movie is to watch it without any expectations. Just get your popcorn, your diet cola, if applicable your girlfriend and be ready for a nice roll on the theatre floor.
Platy.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
A Commentary on "Tagore" - Telugu Movie
Tagore Vs Ramana
So what is special about Chiranjeevi's Tagore?
If you haven't seen the Tamil orginal (Vijayakant's Ramana) you are going to like the movie. It has crisp screenplay, outstanding camera work, breathtaking locales and a great performance by Chiranjeevi. Look out for his action when he realizes that his wife and son are dead. No other actor in Tollywood could have done that so naturally.
The movie has no room for Shriya. But it is a Chiranjeevi movie and so it should have six songs. Hence Shriya in the movie. Her job is drop her jaw in awe, giggle, wear skimpy clothes and dance to the average tunes of Mani Sharma. By the way, Mani Sharma's score can best be described as mediocre. None of the songs impress though Chiranjeevi's dancing skills have elevated all of them to a likable status.
What sets Tagore apart from his recent movies like Indra is that Tagore has absolutely no boring moments. There is something happening always. And care has been taken not to have Chiranjeevi in each and every frame of the movie. This is a marked deviation from his earlier movies. There are instances in the movie where you don't see Chiranjeevi for five to ten minutes continuously. Quite unheard of (or unseen of) if you ask me. Chiranjeevi makes sure that story is given top priority.. not his role.
However I do have a suggestion here. Sack the fight master first. Chiranjeevi's fight have always been a pleasure to watch. They used to be quite good, natural and believable. But in this movie, we are treated with third class fighting sequences where the baddies come one by one to Chiranjeevi to get beaten black and blue. Pawan Kalyan! Can't you be the fight master for your brother?
To illustrate my point, let me draw a comparison between Ramana and Tagore. The scene is in the hospital where the protagonist faces the hospital chairman. The chairman is seated at one end of the room whereas our hero is at the other end. The chairman orders one of the buffoons to give the hero his peace of mind.
So the buffoon goes to the hero and tries to hit him. Vijayakant in Ramana, stands up and hits the guy on his neck and the guy is floored. Simple but effective. Chiranjeevi however remains seated but just flicks his feet or does something like that. The buffoon is then thrown (computer aided aerobics at work) to the other end of the room. Probably it suits Chiranjeevi's "Unconquerable" image but frankly I will take Vijayakant's episode any day over Chiranjeevi's.
When you are watching a bad movie in which Hero and the other characters behave as if their IQ is hovering near 45, you don't feel cheated. But in a well made movie if you suddenly come across a situation where the hero, for no apparent reason, decides not to kill the supreme commander of the bad guys rightaway despite having him tied to a chair in the Hero's den, you cannot pardon the script writer. You just cannot. You have come across situations in the same movie where the bad guys get killed as soon as they are captured but the same treatment is not given to the supreme commander. Reason? Simple, the climax needs to be spanned over two reels. If the baddie gets killed so simply, the climax wouldn't be that big.
Ok. Let's not worry too much about such foolish acts by the hero. The script otherwise is nearly airtight. Definitely a big improvement for Chiranjeevi. His scripts are always mundane but are elevated just because of Chiranjeevi's awesome screen presence. This time, he has some cooperation from the script. The result is a real blockbuster. Tagore is perhaps his best commercial venture yet though I still maintain that nothing can beat his "Rudra Veena".
Lastly, the dialogues in the movie have a political flavor. Probably Chiranjeevi is trying to enter politics. However the lines do fit into the screenplay. So you don't feel they are odd. Go and watch the movie now. It is well worth the 10 dollars or the seventy rupees. Word of caution to those who have seen Ramana. Tagore is a scene-to-scene, word-to-word, number-to-number remake of Ramana except for the climax.
So what is special about Chiranjeevi's Tagore?
If you haven't seen the Tamil orginal (Vijayakant's Ramana) you are going to like the movie. It has crisp screenplay, outstanding camera work, breathtaking locales and a great performance by Chiranjeevi. Look out for his action when he realizes that his wife and son are dead. No other actor in Tollywood could have done that so naturally.
The movie has no room for Shriya. But it is a Chiranjeevi movie and so it should have six songs. Hence Shriya in the movie. Her job is drop her jaw in awe, giggle, wear skimpy clothes and dance to the average tunes of Mani Sharma. By the way, Mani Sharma's score can best be described as mediocre. None of the songs impress though Chiranjeevi's dancing skills have elevated all of them to a likable status.
What sets Tagore apart from his recent movies like Indra is that Tagore has absolutely no boring moments. There is something happening always. And care has been taken not to have Chiranjeevi in each and every frame of the movie. This is a marked deviation from his earlier movies. There are instances in the movie where you don't see Chiranjeevi for five to ten minutes continuously. Quite unheard of (or unseen of) if you ask me. Chiranjeevi makes sure that story is given top priority.. not his role.
However I do have a suggestion here. Sack the fight master first. Chiranjeevi's fight have always been a pleasure to watch. They used to be quite good, natural and believable. But in this movie, we are treated with third class fighting sequences where the baddies come one by one to Chiranjeevi to get beaten black and blue. Pawan Kalyan! Can't you be the fight master for your brother?
To illustrate my point, let me draw a comparison between Ramana and Tagore. The scene is in the hospital where the protagonist faces the hospital chairman. The chairman is seated at one end of the room whereas our hero is at the other end. The chairman orders one of the buffoons to give the hero his peace of mind.
So the buffoon goes to the hero and tries to hit him. Vijayakant in Ramana, stands up and hits the guy on his neck and the guy is floored. Simple but effective. Chiranjeevi however remains seated but just flicks his feet or does something like that. The buffoon is then thrown (computer aided aerobics at work) to the other end of the room. Probably it suits Chiranjeevi's "Unconquerable" image but frankly I will take Vijayakant's episode any day over Chiranjeevi's.
When you are watching a bad movie in which Hero and the other characters behave as if their IQ is hovering near 45, you don't feel cheated. But in a well made movie if you suddenly come across a situation where the hero, for no apparent reason, decides not to kill the supreme commander of the bad guys rightaway despite having him tied to a chair in the Hero's den, you cannot pardon the script writer. You just cannot. You have come across situations in the same movie where the bad guys get killed as soon as they are captured but the same treatment is not given to the supreme commander. Reason? Simple, the climax needs to be spanned over two reels. If the baddie gets killed so simply, the climax wouldn't be that big.
Ok. Let's not worry too much about such foolish acts by the hero. The script otherwise is nearly airtight. Definitely a big improvement for Chiranjeevi. His scripts are always mundane but are elevated just because of Chiranjeevi's awesome screen presence. This time, he has some cooperation from the script. The result is a real blockbuster. Tagore is perhaps his best commercial venture yet though I still maintain that nothing can beat his "Rudra Veena".
Lastly, the dialogues in the movie have a political flavor. Probably Chiranjeevi is trying to enter politics. However the lines do fit into the screenplay. So you don't feel they are odd. Go and watch the movie now. It is well worth the 10 dollars or the seventy rupees. Word of caution to those who have seen Ramana. Tagore is a scene-to-scene, word-to-word, number-to-number remake of Ramana except for the climax.
Review of "Malliswari" - Telugu Movie
If you are ever in Chennai; if you come across a movie house named Casino and if there is a Telugu movie being shown there, do not be tempted to buy your tickets. The theatre is on par with the touring talkies theatres you find in most AP villages.
Well, it goes without saying that I learnt it the hard way. I was all excited to see Katrina Kaif (with all the hoopla surrounding her) in a Vijaya Bhaskar movie.
The show started at 3:30pm yesterday. (Sunday). It was a full house. I had to basically lean on to my right to avoid a ceiling fan blocking Katrina’s boyish charm. She was good. She was beautiful in an unconventional manner with her boyish charm and tom-boyish looks. I felt that contrary to the popular belief that Malliswari was a decent proposition because of Ms Kaif, it was a decent proposition in spite of Ms. Kaif.
She cannot act for nuts. Period. It’s time she went back to modeling assignments. She did look like a princess and behaved roughly like one but Vijay Bhaskar might have had a tough time trying to extract emotions from her wooden face.
Venkatesh was passable. He fit the bill. No complaints on his acting skills. He has done justice to his half-baked role.
My main grudge is on the screenplay of the movie. Pardon me for my references to Manmadhudu which I feel is a far superior product than Malliswari. I would like to compare these two movies to drive home a point which most of the viewers are unable to understand.
You laugh with Nagarjuna in Manmadhudu and you laugh at Venkatesh in Malliswari.
That’s not a very subtle difference, mind you! It does make a world of difference. Nagarjuna’s role was written to be a little eccentric and humor automatically blended into the system because of that eccentricity. At no point you’d feel that the comedy was forced. It was natural and it was humorous.
Malliswari on the other hand portrays a clown called “Pelli Kaani Prasadu”. He behaves like a clown and tries hard to extract laughter from the viewers. It was totally artificial and phony. The viewer gets the feeling that the actors are deliberately trying to make him laugh. Malliswari does not engulf you. It merely passes you from a distance.
Somebody please tell Venkatesh that he is overdoing the “Self Pity” factor a lot in his recent ventures. It sometimes gets on to your nerves. You know how exactly he emotes in those scenes. And it does get repetitive. It is high time we had another Dharma Chakram or Ganesh from Venkatesh. That is where he belongs. Nuvvu Naaku Nacchaav kind of destroyed him in my opinion.
Brahmanandam again tried to underplay his character to extract humor.. just the way he did in Manmadhudu. However while Lavangam was a winning proposition, the driver role (I forgot the name of the character, which again proves a point that none of these characters are properly developed to make a lasting impression.) pales in comparison. The humor factor is simply absent.
Let me clarify my stance here. I am not saying that Malliswari is a bad movie. It is a good attempt, much better than any of the 2004 releases so far. It is immensely enjoyable. However it is not in the same league as Manmadhudu. Also the movie seems to be “inspired” by a lot of things… Which effectively bring down its intrinsic value.
For instance:
- Malliswari title song is “inspired by” BeeGees – Stayin’ Alive
- The very first song with Gajala is “inspired by” Enrique Iglias – Rhythm Devine
- The dog episode is a straight lift from “Meet the Parents”
- The “Gundu Soodi in tea” episode was last seen in Bharateeyudu.
These are only some of the points. I wish I had a notebook with me in the theatre.
Alright I am nit-picking. Manmadhudu had raised my expectations to a new high which even Edmund Hillary would find difficult to achieve. Seen from a Pre-Manmadhudu view, the movie is a clean family entertainer. Don’t miss it.
Platy.
Review of "Koi Mil Gaya" - Hindi Movie
Koi Mil Gaya
Punch-line: ET Waapas Aagaya
Yesterday was one of those days. I was alone in the apartment and thanks to Conditional Access System implemented for CableTV in Chennai, my TV could show only the thirty two free channels of which 90% were Indian DoorDarshan channels of strange languages. (Strange at least for me.)
After trying to glue myself to the TV for half an hour, I had to give up. I got onto my Pulsar and raced to Sathyam Multiplex to catch whatever was on the marquee at 10pm.
There were quite a few options but I selected Koi Mil Gaya just because it had my favorite heroine, Pretty Zinta.
So there I was in Studio-5, Sathyam at 9:30pm cautiously spending the last 100 rupees in my pocket. Ah these ICICI ATMs seldom rise to the occasion when needed most.
I was the only "loner" in the theatre. People were looking at me curiously. I ignored those glances and started analyzing the people seated in that matchbox theatre. There was one Chinese couple who were enjoying the Bru coffee ad pretty immensely. Then there were guys and guys and guys in all the "couple" seats except for one which had two girls. Most of them were busy in...
1. Answering a cell phone call.
2. Making a cell phone call.
3. Trying out various ring tones.
4. SMSing feverishly.
5. Playing games on the cell phone.
6. One had this 7250 I suppose. He was taking digital snaps of those two girls I have talked about.
Realization dawned upon me at that instant. India was bound to cross the rest of the world in a matter of years in terms of the number of cell phones per movie theatre.
I think I have totally digressed from the topic here. My ratings will suffer because of this. So what? No review is complete without a detailed description of the people in the theatre - according to the great book on Movie Reviewing written by Venu Vedam.
The movie starts alright with a pretty obvious Star Wars hangover. Why do our film-makers try to ape Hollywood in each and every aspect of movie making? What exactly is the value-add by having those titles designed that way? Is it an unwritten rule that every science fiction movie should follow the foot-steps of Star Wars?
Hence we have a solid begining. Expectations have been set accordingly. Prelude follows. Dad dies. Mom gets hurt. Baby in the womb get hit on the head. So we have a mentally challenged kid whose mental age and physical age are not in harmony. (Shadows of "Big")
Hritik tries sincerely to portray the character of a grown up man having a mental age of around 12. His work needs to be applauded. He is bound to get a filmfare award but I think he has a fair chance of getting the National award this time.
From here the movie keeps its pace. It has a tight screenplay but some obvious "errors". The aliens are contacted by sending "sound waves" into the space. It is beyond my comprehension to understand this particular protocol. Last checked, sound waves needed a medium of propagation and could not travel in vacuum. I satisfied myself by proposing that he was actually sending EM waves and not Sound waves.
But as soon as the "send" transmission occurs, the reply is there. It is instantaneous. There is absolutely no lag. It is as if Tom, Dick and Harry are chatting over a pint of wine in their living room.
Alright I am nit-picking. Can't help it. They can't release a science fiction movie which disrespects Science. But they need to be pardoned because Pretty Zinta is the cutest girl in the whole universe. I wonder why the alien did not fall in love with Pretty.
The aliens arrive amidst much fanfare. (Read electromagnetic impulses). The town loses all electric transmission. Even torch lights don't work when the alien ship is flying over the town. The electromagnetic wave has even affected the candles! What you know! Aliens do know something that we don't.
The alien ship is again a very obvious hangover of "Independence Day". Tacky special effects when they were not needed. So the aliens get down from the ship, inspect the jungle, get scared by the elephants and run away. Amidst the chaos, "Jadoo" is lost in the jungle. He hides in the jungle. (he or She? I don't know.)
Inspector "Always Right" is Mukesh Rishi. He concludes that one alien life form is at large on planet Earth because he can trace all the alien footsteps into the jungle and then to the space ship except for one which does not come back! Who says Indian police is inefficient? So he calls up "Indian Space Research Organization" to talk to one Mr. Subramaniam who tries his best to look like Yashpal Sharma.
So ISRO and the police force along with three phoren scientists presumably from NASA are searching every inch of the jungle to catch "Jadoo".
So where does "jadoo" surface? In the outhouse of Hritik. So the ET err.. Jadoo befriends Hritik and his gang. They are on cloud nine. They are mesmerized by the supernatural powers of Jadoo. Jadoo can make them fly. Jadoo can make them strong. Jadoo can cure Hritik and make him a real adult! Jadoo can make the kids win a Basketball game. No I am not talking about the Absent Minded Professor. I am talking about Koi Mil Gaya.
But all these not without trouble. Jadoo loses its power if there is no dhoop (Heat). He needs to be in sunlight to let the kids fly over their opponents to score that precious last basket in the game. But sun's not shining. You can't make hay! So Hritik prays. Bruce Almighty just then does a "grant all wishes". So there is broad sunshine. The boys begin flying. The referees don't mind it anyway.
So what happens next? Are you really asking this question? My fifth standard nephew can guess that the police and NASA and ISRO finally zero in on the alien. They try to snatch the ET.. err. alien from Hritik. How they tackle the situation is everyone's guess. Still I can't give it away here. Go and watch ET.. err.. Koi Mil Gaya to know what happens next.
An advise to Rakesh Roshan and the other Bollywood producers and directors. You don't have to bring in special "special effects" just for the heck of it. A normal spaceship would have pretty much sufficed your requirements but you had to go for an Independence Day ship.
Alright. It is your movie. It worked. It is a hit. So I can't complain. Make hay while the sun shines. Tomorrow is another day. It will be another dog's day.
All the teary eyed, happy faces in Studio 5 pulled out their cell phones at once and started...
1. Answering a cell phone call.
2. Making a cell phone call.
3. Trying out various ring tones.
4. SMSing feverishly.
5. Playing games on the cell phone.
6. The 7250 guy took one last picture of the girls in question. I guess he will treasure it for the next one day!
Guess the world goes on as usual. No apocalypse now.
I had fun. I didn't like the movie. But I liked Ms Pretty and I liked the songs. It was seventy rupees well spent.
Have fun
Platy
Punch-line: ET Waapas Aagaya
Yesterday was one of those days. I was alone in the apartment and thanks to Conditional Access System implemented for CableTV in Chennai, my TV could show only the thirty two free channels of which 90% were Indian DoorDarshan channels of strange languages. (Strange at least for me.)
After trying to glue myself to the TV for half an hour, I had to give up. I got onto my Pulsar and raced to Sathyam Multiplex to catch whatever was on the marquee at 10pm.
There were quite a few options but I selected Koi Mil Gaya just because it had my favorite heroine, Pretty Zinta.
So there I was in Studio-5, Sathyam at 9:30pm cautiously spending the last 100 rupees in my pocket. Ah these ICICI ATMs seldom rise to the occasion when needed most.
I was the only "loner" in the theatre. People were looking at me curiously. I ignored those glances and started analyzing the people seated in that matchbox theatre. There was one Chinese couple who were enjoying the Bru coffee ad pretty immensely. Then there were guys and guys and guys in all the "couple" seats except for one which had two girls. Most of them were busy in...
1. Answering a cell phone call.
2. Making a cell phone call.
3. Trying out various ring tones.
4. SMSing feverishly.
5. Playing games on the cell phone.
6. One had this 7250 I suppose. He was taking digital snaps of those two girls I have talked about.
Realization dawned upon me at that instant. India was bound to cross the rest of the world in a matter of years in terms of the number of cell phones per movie theatre.
I think I have totally digressed from the topic here. My ratings will suffer because of this. So what? No review is complete without a detailed description of the people in the theatre - according to the great book on Movie Reviewing written by Venu Vedam.
The movie starts alright with a pretty obvious Star Wars hangover. Why do our film-makers try to ape Hollywood in each and every aspect of movie making? What exactly is the value-add by having those titles designed that way? Is it an unwritten rule that every science fiction movie should follow the foot-steps of Star Wars?
Hence we have a solid begining. Expectations have been set accordingly. Prelude follows. Dad dies. Mom gets hurt. Baby in the womb get hit on the head. So we have a mentally challenged kid whose mental age and physical age are not in harmony. (Shadows of "Big")
Hritik tries sincerely to portray the character of a grown up man having a mental age of around 12. His work needs to be applauded. He is bound to get a filmfare award but I think he has a fair chance of getting the National award this time.
From here the movie keeps its pace. It has a tight screenplay but some obvious "errors". The aliens are contacted by sending "sound waves" into the space. It is beyond my comprehension to understand this particular protocol. Last checked, sound waves needed a medium of propagation and could not travel in vacuum. I satisfied myself by proposing that he was actually sending EM waves and not Sound waves.
But as soon as the "send" transmission occurs, the reply is there. It is instantaneous. There is absolutely no lag. It is as if Tom, Dick and Harry are chatting over a pint of wine in their living room.
Alright I am nit-picking. Can't help it. They can't release a science fiction movie which disrespects Science. But they need to be pardoned because Pretty Zinta is the cutest girl in the whole universe. I wonder why the alien did not fall in love with Pretty.
The aliens arrive amidst much fanfare. (Read electromagnetic impulses). The town loses all electric transmission. Even torch lights don't work when the alien ship is flying over the town. The electromagnetic wave has even affected the candles! What you know! Aliens do know something that we don't.
The alien ship is again a very obvious hangover of "Independence Day". Tacky special effects when they were not needed. So the aliens get down from the ship, inspect the jungle, get scared by the elephants and run away. Amidst the chaos, "Jadoo" is lost in the jungle. He hides in the jungle. (he or She? I don't know.)
Inspector "Always Right" is Mukesh Rishi. He concludes that one alien life form is at large on planet Earth because he can trace all the alien footsteps into the jungle and then to the space ship except for one which does not come back! Who says Indian police is inefficient? So he calls up "Indian Space Research Organization" to talk to one Mr. Subramaniam who tries his best to look like Yashpal Sharma.
So ISRO and the police force along with three phoren scientists presumably from NASA are searching every inch of the jungle to catch "Jadoo".
So where does "jadoo" surface? In the outhouse of Hritik. So the ET err.. Jadoo befriends Hritik and his gang. They are on cloud nine. They are mesmerized by the supernatural powers of Jadoo. Jadoo can make them fly. Jadoo can make them strong. Jadoo can cure Hritik and make him a real adult! Jadoo can make the kids win a Basketball game. No I am not talking about the Absent Minded Professor. I am talking about Koi Mil Gaya.
But all these not without trouble. Jadoo loses its power if there is no dhoop (Heat). He needs to be in sunlight to let the kids fly over their opponents to score that precious last basket in the game. But sun's not shining. You can't make hay! So Hritik prays. Bruce Almighty just then does a "grant all wishes". So there is broad sunshine. The boys begin flying. The referees don't mind it anyway.
So what happens next? Are you really asking this question? My fifth standard nephew can guess that the police and NASA and ISRO finally zero in on the alien. They try to snatch the ET.. err. alien from Hritik. How they tackle the situation is everyone's guess. Still I can't give it away here. Go and watch ET.. err.. Koi Mil Gaya to know what happens next.
An advise to Rakesh Roshan and the other Bollywood producers and directors. You don't have to bring in special "special effects" just for the heck of it. A normal spaceship would have pretty much sufficed your requirements but you had to go for an Independence Day ship.
Alright. It is your movie. It worked. It is a hit. So I can't complain. Make hay while the sun shines. Tomorrow is another day. It will be another dog's day.
All the teary eyed, happy faces in Studio 5 pulled out their cell phones at once and started...
1. Answering a cell phone call.
2. Making a cell phone call.
3. Trying out various ring tones.
4. SMSing feverishly.
5. Playing games on the cell phone.
6. The 7250 guy took one last picture of the girls in question. I guess he will treasure it for the next one day!
Guess the world goes on as usual. No apocalypse now.
I had fun. I didn't like the movie. But I liked Ms Pretty and I liked the songs. It was seventy rupees well spent.
Have fun
Platy
A Review of "Gharshana" - Telugu Movie
Gharshana - Technically Sound
I’ve finally managed to squeeze “Gharshana” into my schedule. Tuesday night show seemed so perfect for the outing. Apart from me, the balcony class of the theatre had ten people five of which are employees of the theatre.
I’ve seen the original “Kakka Kakka” umpteen times and so my review will be talking about both the versions.
I am not going to discuss the story-line of this movie. That is not the purpose of this review. (Check out Jeevi’s review on Idlebrain.) I am going to concentrate more on the other aspects of movie-making like Cinematography, Shot selection and editing. For this, I have to discuss some of the scenes in details. So there may be a couple of spoilers in here.
Gautham Menon, the man behind Minnale had come out with an instant winner in Gharshana/Kakka Kakka. The screenplay is crisp, fast and focused fully on the main theme. There are no unnecessary characters or songs in the movie. The mood of the movie does not encourage a comedy track and so the movie has a pretty serious tone throughout. Simple things such as keeping a scar on heroine’s face throughout the movie following her accident tell us how serious was Gautham about the script of the movie.
Technically it is brilliant. The concept of RFE – Rapid Fire Editing has been used throughout the movie. Anthony deserves a well rounded applause for his work on the Editing table. By the way, check out the song when they go to Nagarjuna Sagar for the first time. It is a real fine show of slick editing. As a matter of fact the Telugu version of this song has more punch than the Tamil version. (Purists: You are welcome to disagree with
Sandwiching of scenes (Two scenes interleaved) is also used in a very effective way. The next scene starts even before the current scene ends. The technique is used to smoothen the scene-changes. (The “click” in the viewer’s mind when a scene changes has to be minimized.) This is a common technique in
Gautham and Anthony have corrected a couple of screenplay/editing errors which stood out like soar thumbs in the Tamil version. The murder of a girl during “Aadathanama” song has been replaced with the murder of a police officer which makes more sense. However there is another screenplay blunder which crept into the Telugu version as well. In a well made movie which tries to be realistic at all times, the climax episode where the hero takes on the villain without the help of police force makes the movie come back to Tollywood from a Hollywood level. I thought Gautham would correct it in the Telugu version or at least provide an explanation on why the hero did not want anyone else to join him in his final attempt to nail the villain. Alas! It did not happen.
The other correction is the way Venkatesh catches the accomplice of the villain after the Zahirabad confrontation. In Kakka Kakka, the details are not shown and the Commissioner simply informs the hero that the accomplice had been caught. The Telugu version is more believable.
Coming to cinematography, it is top-notch. It is actually miles ahead of its Tamil counterpart. Gautham himself had admitted that with the restriction on budget gone, he could afford advanced techniques of cinematography. Blackening of the borders of the scene when something important happens in the movie adds to the effect excellently. It enhances the serious mood of the film beautifully. The director was careful enough not to overuse these techniques. So they blend in seamlessly.
Next comes the background talk. It started with Johnny and was perfected by Gharshana. If you concentrate mainly on what the focus actors are saying, you are going to miss the ambience talk. And this talk is part of the movie. It has some useful information as well. Also note that while the camera is focused on the lead actor/actress, the other actors in the background are not wooden. They go about doing their chores without paying any attention to the focus point of the camera. A scene that comes to my mind is when one of the cops is assassinated. Venkatesh is discussing it with the commissioner. In the background, the other police members discuss what should be done with the body and then carry out the tasks. The entire scene is in background. It adds a very natural look to the scene.
The movie is not without its negative points. I have already discussed one. There are a couple of scenes where the hero gets hit by a wooden log and the wooden log measuring at least ten centimeters in diameter breaks into bits and pieces. The hero’s hands are well intact though.
Don’t get me wrong here. Such scenes are common in Telugu movies. However if a movie is sensible enough to shy away from the cliché-ridden formula of Telugu movies, it can go that extra mile by not showing such absurd and unrealistic “image-enhancers”.
The final word: It is a masterpiece technically. However it may be a little too advanced for Telugu audience at this time.
Cyber Age Telugu Movie Story
Hero is a software engineer. He does not have a life worth speaking of. He spends eighteen hours a day in the office working and browsing the net.
Heroine is a software engineer in the same company. She does not have a life either. She spends eight hours in front of her PC, thirteen hours in front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.
One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting. They argue endlessly about the insanity of Microsoft applications.. especially Outlook 2003.
Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found drinking coffee with Hero in Office canteen.
"What is life?" asks the Hero looking at the vacuum right above her head.
"I've been wondering too." sighs the heroine.
"Why are we fighting over Outlook 2003?" Hero drinks his black coffee.
"And why are we not talking about Lotus NOtes" Heroine sips her Latte.
Hero shakes his head. "It's not about software products. It is about life. I guess life is much bigger than OUtlook 2003."
Heroine nods. "I think it is. I am not sure though. Do you know that Microsoft has come up with a fix to that bug you've been using to prove Outlook is a worthless piece of garbage?"
"Heroine," Hero is now determined, "From this moment onwards, I am not discussing anything remotely related to software."
"Fine Hero," says Heroine, "Good bye then."
Hero then returns all the Sybase manuals to the library and rents out "how to live a life?"
Heroine meanwhile gets into an altercation with the villain during a conversation on Sharepoint server. Villain vows to format the hard disk of the heroine. Heroine takes her PC and runs away from the cubicle trying to escape from the villain's evil intentions. Since it is night shift, no one comes to her rescue.
Hero, who has been reading "how to live a life" very seriously, suddenly finds out that he loves the heroine as much as he used to love Tetris.
So hero messages Heroine on Yahoo Instant messenger. But there is no reply. Hero does not understand it. He knows that the heroine is supposed to be in night shift. What is she doing in Night shift if not on Yahoo Instant Messenger? As far as he know that is what people are supposed to do in night shift.
Hero senses trouble. He runs barefooted on the Information Superhighway and reaches office just in time to see the villain snatch the PC out of heroine's hands and type the command "Format C:\". When his fingers get to the "Enter" key, hero delivers the killer punch on villain's face. Villain is thrown back. But in the process he manages to press the Enter key...
The world comes to a standstill. The sky roars. The Rain pours. Heroine breaks down. Villain is on cloud nine. But our Hero isn't sad. He is smiling. Villain cannot understand. Hero then says, "Villain, You should learn DOS properly. Your grave mistake...". He shows the monitor to Villain. The DOS command prompt says "Are you sure?". It is waiting for a "Y" to commence the formatting operation. Hero then simply presses "N".
Villain cries in frustration "Nooooooo" and charges like a bull. Then follows a lengthy fight. Heroine meanwhile calls the police and they come right after hero beats the villain to pulp. Without asking any questions, the police understand who is hero and who is villain and take him into custody. Heroine, tears in her eyes, takes her PC, switches it on and jumps with joy when she finds her favorite Calvin and Hobbs collection in tact in her C drive.
"You saved my data" she exclaims.
"No, you saved it yourself." hero says.
"No.. Jesus saves. I don't" she cries.
"Nothing happened na." Hero consoles.
"Let us get married" heroine sheds some more tears, "I want someone by my side to protect the Calvin and Hobbs collection on my PC".
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus nOtes?"
The End.
Hero is a software engineer. He does not have a life worth speaking of. He spends eighteen hours a day in the office working and browsing the net.
Heroine is a software engineer in the same company. She does not have a life either. She spends eight hours in front of her PC, thirteen hours in front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.
One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting. They argue endlessly about the insanity of Microsoft applications.. especially Outlook 2003.
Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found drinking coffee with Hero in Office canteen.
"What is life?" asks the Hero looking at the vacuum right above her head.
"I've been wondering too." sighs the heroine.
"Why are we fighting over Outlook 2003?" Hero drinks his black coffee.
"And why are we not talking about Lotus NOtes" Heroine sips her Latte.
Hero shakes his head. "It's not about software products. It is about life. I guess life is much bigger than OUtlook 2003."
Heroine nods. "I think it is. I am not sure though. Do you know that Microsoft has come up with a fix to that bug you've been using to prove Outlook is a worthless piece of garbage?"
"Heroine," Hero is now determined, "From this moment onwards, I am not discussing anything remotely related to software."
"Fine Hero," says Heroine, "Good bye then."
Hero then returns all the Sybase manuals to the library and rents out "how to live a life?"
Heroine meanwhile gets into an altercation with the villain during a conversation on Sharepoint server. Villain vows to format the hard disk of the heroine. Heroine takes her PC and runs away from the cubicle trying to escape from the villain's evil intentions. Since it is night shift, no one comes to her rescue.
Hero, who has been reading "how to live a life" very seriously, suddenly finds out that he loves the heroine as much as he used to love Tetris.
So hero messages Heroine on Yahoo Instant messenger. But there is no reply. Hero does not understand it. He knows that the heroine is supposed to be in night shift. What is she doing in Night shift if not on Yahoo Instant Messenger? As far as he know that is what people are supposed to do in night shift.
Hero senses trouble. He runs barefooted on the Information Superhighway and reaches office just in time to see the villain snatch the PC out of heroine's hands and type the command "Format C:\". When his fingers get to the "Enter" key, hero delivers the killer punch on villain's face. Villain is thrown back. But in the process he manages to press the Enter key...
The world comes to a standstill. The sky roars. The Rain pours. Heroine breaks down. Villain is on cloud nine. But our Hero isn't sad. He is smiling. Villain cannot understand. Hero then says, "Villain, You should learn DOS properly. Your grave mistake...". He shows the monitor to Villain. The DOS command prompt says "Are you sure?". It is waiting for a "Y" to commence the formatting operation. Hero then simply presses "N".
Villain cries in frustration "Nooooooo" and charges like a bull. Then follows a lengthy fight. Heroine meanwhile calls the police and they come right after hero beats the villain to pulp. Without asking any questions, the police understand who is hero and who is villain and take him into custody. Heroine, tears in her eyes, takes her PC, switches it on and jumps with joy when she finds her favorite Calvin and Hobbs collection in tact in her C drive.
"You saved my data" she exclaims.
"No, you saved it yourself." hero says.
"No.. Jesus saves. I don't" she cries.
"Nothing happened na." Hero consoles.
"Let us get married" heroine sheds some more tears, "I want someone by my side to protect the Calvin and Hobbs collection on my PC".
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus nOtes?"
The End.
Monday, September 20, 2004
An Interesting Outing
It started to rain. The road was deserted. It was quite a sight. Black tar road cutting its way through the green bushes. It was almost like a painting.
The battered bus-shelter offered little resistance to the downpour. I was drenched in a minute. It wasn’t very bad. Once drenched, it cannot get any worse than that anyway. So I decided to make the most of that situation. I stepped out from the shelter and let the rain loose on me. Neither my expensive Arrow shirt nor my prestigious pair of Nike shoes could stop me from enjoying my date with the rain Goddess.
It was a peculiar situation. I didn’t know if there was a bus plying in that route. I didn’t know if anybody used that road. I just stood there waiting for any vehicle to pick me up. I had all the time in the world to myself.
An almost pollution free environment coupled with a nice thunder shower with no living thing in the vicinity to spoil the fun… It was an ideal case for anyone to embark on an introspecting cruise down the memory lane.
“Rain Rain Go Away
Come again another day
Little Johnny Wants to Play
Rain Rain Go to Spain
Do not show your face again.”
“Why would you want to part with such a wonderful thing as rain? I don’t understand. It is perhaps the best thing happened to humanity… after of course the electric bulb.” She was quite a bubbly electronics engineer from Jamshedpur. She would get soaked whenever there was rainfall. That was how she enjoyed the weather.
“Cats and Dogs! Now I don’t know why only cats and dogs. Perhaps because they don’t care whether it is raining or not.” She badly needed a refresher course in etymology but I had no problems accepting her argument. If she wanted it to rain cats, dogs and Pavanis, I would let it rain cats, dogs and Pavanis.
A sudden gush of wind and a loud squeak of wood somewhere down the road, brought me back to the deserted road. It was four in the evening but it had become completely dark already. Pavani would have loved this set up. She would do a Pavani if she were here now.
I went back to the bus-shelter and sat on the wooden bench. Most would find it creepy to be in a deserted bus-shelter when the night fell. However I didn’t think much of it partly because there was nothing I could do about it and mostly because I didn’t care anyway.
“Why don’t you show some interest for Chrissakes? I’ve been talking about the movie scene for… what is it? Half an hour? And all you did was to nod your head in a complex trajectory.. sinusoidal perhaps. Now who taught you that? That is not how you’re supposed to nod! When you nod, it has to be pretty clear to the observer that you are nodding.” She went ballistic at times. I couldn’t help it. By nature I was quite disinterested in most of the Earthly affairs. I found solace in the most unreachable corner of my personal computer. If it was Tetris, you got my attention. But movie scenes? Give me a Quake!.
Cigarette! That should be wonderful. I searched my bag and found a dry cigarette. Pavani didn’t mind my smoking like what.. two hundred cigarettes a day? Something pretty close to that at least.
“Hey! It’s your life and your lungs. You do whatever you want to do. I don’t mind.” She was firm in her eccentric beliefs. She believed that God had no business in this world after the seventh day of Creation. She believed that India needed dictatorship. “Musharraf will be pretty effective if he were ruling India instead of Pakistan”. Now, don’t ever commit the cardinal sin of asking her why.
Her political knowledge was warped. She subscribed to a radical school of thought as far as Indian politics were concerned. She would follow NDTV 24 7 quite literally 24 by 7. However if you asked her what exactly was the portfolio of Dr. Manmohan Singh in 1991, she would draw a blank face. Things just wouldn’t stay in her mind forever. Short term memory to be precise.
There was a bus horn… quite clear and distinct. I looked up. There was light at the end of the road and Siddhuistically that of an incoming bus. I checked my airbag if the contents were spoiled by the incessant downpour. Thankfully the bag was waterproof. I stood in the middle of the road so that the driver would have to stop.
That it was not a bus but a Mahindra Jeep could not dampen my spirits much because I had made up my mind to hop into whatever came along that way. It rolled into a complete halt just a few feet from my dripping body. A man in his Sherlock Holmes attire got down.
“Are you Venu?”
Now, that, I must say, had surprised me first before scaring me to death. Imagine yourself in a situation when a certain Holmic character gets down from a creepy looking Jeep with probably a gun in his pocket shouting “Are you whoever you are?”
My parents probably did not foresee such a situation as this when they decided to name me Venu. Otherwise I would have been Seenu or Subbu. Anyways, that’s far from the point of discussion. Let us not venture into that.
I had a choice here actually. I could say that I was not Venu and give way to the Jeep. I could then find solitude in the company of my thoughts revolving around Pavani. Or I could admit the fact that I was Venu and go along with the flow.
Well, there was this factor which influenced my decision unilaterally. If I said I was not Venu, there was no guarantee that Mr Holmes would be satisfied with the answer and let me go on my way. The very fact that he was looking for a particular Venu on a deserted country road at five in the evening when there was water water everywhere and a whole lot of them to drink, told me that I should handle this situation carefully.
So I spoke the truth. I admitted that I was Venu. I prayed God that if ever Mr. Holmes shot me, I would be spared the ordeal of crossing Vaitarini.
Nothing of that sort happened of course. Mr Holmes just walked to me and handed over the key of the Jeep. “Your turn.” Was all he said.
“My turn?” I was perplexed. Probably confused is a better word.
“Go down the road looking for Mr. Seenu. And hand over the key to him.” He said.
It didn’t make any sense to me. Why should I go down this road looking for Mr. Seenu? What was in it for me?
“You will realize it later. Just do it.” Mr. Holmes obviously knew his Nike.
I cleared my throat. “I am sorry Mr Holmes.. err.. Mister.. I don’t think I want to do this. You see… I am waiting for my bus here.. and” I abruptly stopped my rather incoherent speech when Holmes took out a butcher knife from his pocket. “It is your destiny. Follow your mind. Follow your spirit. You will know what you have to do.” Holmes couldn’t have put it more clearly. Actually he did not have to speak at all. The butcher’s knife told me everything I wanted to hear.
I got into the Jeep and stepped on the gas quickly. Within seconds, I was gone. The road was straight, plain, boring and wet. I could see only about ten meters ahead of my Jeep. The rest was covered by the blanket of night.
It started to rain. The road was deserted. It was quite a sight. Black tar road cutting its way through the green bushes. It was almost like a painting.
The battered bus-shelter offered little resistance to the downpour. I was drenched in a minute. It wasn’t very bad. Once drenched, it cannot get any worse than that anyway. So I decided to make the most of that situation. I stepped out from the shelter and let the rain loose on me. Neither my expensive Arrow shirt nor my prestigious pair of Nike shoes could stop me from enjoying my date with the rain Goddess.
It was a peculiar situation. I didn’t know if there was a bus plying in that route. I didn’t know if anybody used that road. I just stood there waiting for any vehicle to pick me up. I had all the time in the world to myself.
An almost pollution free environment coupled with a nice thunder shower with no living thing in the vicinity to spoil the fun… It was an ideal case for anyone to embark on an introspecting cruise down the memory lane.
“Rain Rain Go Away
Come again another day
Little Johnny Wants to Play
Rain Rain Go to Spain
Do not show your face again.”
“Why would you want to part with such a wonderful thing as rain? I don’t understand. It is perhaps the best thing happened to humanity… after of course the electric bulb.” She was quite a bubbly electronics engineer from Jamshedpur. She would get soaked whenever there was rainfall. That was how she enjoyed the weather.
“Cats and Dogs! Now I don’t know why only cats and dogs. Perhaps because they don’t care whether it is raining or not.” She badly needed a refresher course in etymology but I had no problems accepting her argument. If she wanted it to rain cats, dogs and Pavanis, I would let it rain cats, dogs and Pavanis.
A sudden gush of wind and a loud squeak of wood somewhere down the road, brought me back to the deserted road. It was four in the evening but it had become completely dark already. Pavani would have loved this set up. She would do a Pavani if she were here now.
I went back to the bus-shelter and sat on the wooden bench. Most would find it creepy to be in a deserted bus-shelter when the night fell. However I didn’t think much of it partly because there was nothing I could do about it and mostly because I didn’t care anyway.
“Why don’t you show some interest for Chrissakes? I’ve been talking about the movie scene for… what is it? Half an hour? And all you did was to nod your head in a complex trajectory.. sinusoidal perhaps. Now who taught you that? That is not how you’re supposed to nod! When you nod, it has to be pretty clear to the observer that you are nodding.” She went ballistic at times. I couldn’t help it. By nature I was quite disinterested in most of the Earthly affairs. I found solace in the most unreachable corner of my personal computer. If it was Tetris, you got my attention. But movie scenes? Give me a Quake!.
Cigarette! That should be wonderful. I searched my bag and found a dry cigarette. Pavani didn’t mind my smoking like what.. two hundred cigarettes a day? Something pretty close to that at least.
“Hey! It’s your life and your lungs. You do whatever you want to do. I don’t mind.” She was firm in her eccentric beliefs. She believed that God had no business in this world after the seventh day of Creation. She believed that India needed dictatorship. “Musharraf will be pretty effective if he were ruling India instead of Pakistan”. Now, don’t ever commit the cardinal sin of asking her why.
Her political knowledge was warped. She subscribed to a radical school of thought as far as Indian politics were concerned. She would follow NDTV 24 7 quite literally 24 by 7. However if you asked her what exactly was the portfolio of Dr. Manmohan Singh in 1991, she would draw a blank face. Things just wouldn’t stay in her mind forever. Short term memory to be precise.
There was a bus horn… quite clear and distinct. I looked up. There was light at the end of the road and Siddhuistically that of an incoming bus. I checked my airbag if the contents were spoiled by the incessant downpour. Thankfully the bag was waterproof. I stood in the middle of the road so that the driver would have to stop.
That it was not a bus but a Mahindra Jeep could not dampen my spirits much because I had made up my mind to hop into whatever came along that way. It rolled into a complete halt just a few feet from my dripping body. A man in his Sherlock Holmes attire got down.
“Are you Venu?”
Now, that, I must say, had surprised me first before scaring me to death. Imagine yourself in a situation when a certain Holmic character gets down from a creepy looking Jeep with probably a gun in his pocket shouting “Are you whoever you are?”
My parents probably did not foresee such a situation as this when they decided to name me Venu. Otherwise I would have been Seenu or Subbu. Anyways, that’s far from the point of discussion. Let us not venture into that.
I had a choice here actually. I could say that I was not Venu and give way to the Jeep. I could then find solitude in the company of my thoughts revolving around Pavani. Or I could admit the fact that I was Venu and go along with the flow.
Well, there was this factor which influenced my decision unilaterally. If I said I was not Venu, there was no guarantee that Mr Holmes would be satisfied with the answer and let me go on my way. The very fact that he was looking for a particular Venu on a deserted country road at five in the evening when there was water water everywhere and a whole lot of them to drink, told me that I should handle this situation carefully.
So I spoke the truth. I admitted that I was Venu. I prayed God that if ever Mr. Holmes shot me, I would be spared the ordeal of crossing Vaitarini.
Nothing of that sort happened of course. Mr Holmes just walked to me and handed over the key of the Jeep. “Your turn.” Was all he said.
“My turn?” I was perplexed. Probably confused is a better word.
“Go down the road looking for Mr. Seenu. And hand over the key to him.” He said.
It didn’t make any sense to me. Why should I go down this road looking for Mr. Seenu? What was in it for me?
“You will realize it later. Just do it.” Mr. Holmes obviously knew his Nike.
I cleared my throat. “I am sorry Mr Holmes.. err.. Mister.. I don’t think I want to do this. You see… I am waiting for my bus here.. and” I abruptly stopped my rather incoherent speech when Holmes took out a butcher knife from his pocket. “It is your destiny. Follow your mind. Follow your spirit. You will know what you have to do.” Holmes couldn’t have put it more clearly. Actually he did not have to speak at all. The butcher’s knife told me everything I wanted to hear.
I got into the Jeep and stepped on the gas quickly. Within seconds, I was gone. The road was straight, plain, boring and wet. I could see only about ten meters ahead of my Jeep. The rest was covered by the blanket of night.
Towards a Developed India...
Corruption is the root cause of all the problems India is facing. If you tackle this monster, you hit the bull’s eye. How do you do it? It’s easier said than done. It is actually a vicious circle. You want to fight corruption. For that you need a team. You need to ensure that your team is free from corruption. It keeps coming back to square one whichever way you take.
Probably we should strike a deal with the police personnel that we would raise their salaries to comfortable levels so that they don’t have to take bribes from people to earn their living. It is a sad fact that the salaries and wages of the government agencies are not adequate in this day and age to lead a comfortable life. If we can get their buy-in for this proposal, we will have a platform to fight corruption. The assumption here is that if people are blessed with a good income, at least 80% of them will not resort to corruption. This assumption can be totally false but we have to start somewhere.
If the law enforcement agency is clean, we can take their help in dealing with corruption. Our top most priority should be to increase the cash inflow. First – Make taxes compulsory. Get rid of section 80’s and 88’s. Everyone has to pay a flat 30% tax on his/her income regardless of the investments he/she chooses to make. Act on the tax evaders mercilessly. The additional funds acquired by this move should be used to pay better wages to government servants.
Our next move should be to make our judiciary system more effective and efficient. The lead times for court cases should be brought down drastically. It might need more automation or a complete paradigm shift in our constitutional thinking. More thought should go into this.
Transport is a nation’s backbone. It is not preposterous to say that America is in this state just because of its I-80 and I-90, the two superhighways which connect most of the nation’s important cities. The golden quadrilateral project which is a brainchild of Atal Behari Vajpayee is a good move in this direction. However the road infrastructure needs to be modernized at all levels. Not just freeways but country roads and village roads should also be developed. This will reduce the overall transit time and will be a boon to the economy.
Politics: Make education compulsory for politicians. Candidates aspiring to be MLAs or MPs should have finished graduation at least. Again it is an assumption that educated people are harder to manipulate.
Education: Change the present day yard stick for counting the number of educated persons in a constituency. Just knowing how to sign one’s name does not make him an educated person. He should have finished at least five years of schooling to be considered as educated. Once the new yardstick is in place, we should find out where we are at. Then proper programs must be devised to increase the education levels at a constituency or ward level.
Why is an average educated Indian whose heart bleeds for his/her country not willing to do anything to uplift the country from the sorry state it is right now in? It is because of fear… fear that one day the criminal arm of the country’s bad elements would reach the person. What if Gandhi thought this way? What if Bhagat Singh were scared of facing the gallows? We would have still been slaves of England.
It takes a single person to start a revolution. You might not be able to make any perceptible impact to India in your life time but small drops do matter. Small things which are in your jurisdiction do make a difference if only you have the correct vision. For instance if you see a person smoking in the corridor of a railway compartment, you can confront him. On your part, you can start by adhering to the rules wherever you can. As a responsible citizen of India, as a person who is writing a five hundred word essay on How to Improve India, it is imperative that you follow the rules first.
Change yourself. Convince yourself. Act upon your ideas. Don’t look for the results.
Hope to see a real revolution.
Venu.
Corruption is the root cause of all the problems India is facing. If you tackle this monster, you hit the bull’s eye. How do you do it? It’s easier said than done. It is actually a vicious circle. You want to fight corruption. For that you need a team. You need to ensure that your team is free from corruption. It keeps coming back to square one whichever way you take.
Probably we should strike a deal with the police personnel that we would raise their salaries to comfortable levels so that they don’t have to take bribes from people to earn their living. It is a sad fact that the salaries and wages of the government agencies are not adequate in this day and age to lead a comfortable life. If we can get their buy-in for this proposal, we will have a platform to fight corruption. The assumption here is that if people are blessed with a good income, at least 80% of them will not resort to corruption. This assumption can be totally false but we have to start somewhere.
If the law enforcement agency is clean, we can take their help in dealing with corruption. Our top most priority should be to increase the cash inflow. First – Make taxes compulsory. Get rid of section 80’s and 88’s. Everyone has to pay a flat 30% tax on his/her income regardless of the investments he/she chooses to make. Act on the tax evaders mercilessly. The additional funds acquired by this move should be used to pay better wages to government servants.
Our next move should be to make our judiciary system more effective and efficient. The lead times for court cases should be brought down drastically. It might need more automation or a complete paradigm shift in our constitutional thinking. More thought should go into this.
Transport is a nation’s backbone. It is not preposterous to say that America is in this state just because of its I-80 and I-90, the two superhighways which connect most of the nation’s important cities. The golden quadrilateral project which is a brainchild of Atal Behari Vajpayee is a good move in this direction. However the road infrastructure needs to be modernized at all levels. Not just freeways but country roads and village roads should also be developed. This will reduce the overall transit time and will be a boon to the economy.
Politics: Make education compulsory for politicians. Candidates aspiring to be MLAs or MPs should have finished graduation at least. Again it is an assumption that educated people are harder to manipulate.
Education: Change the present day yard stick for counting the number of educated persons in a constituency. Just knowing how to sign one’s name does not make him an educated person. He should have finished at least five years of schooling to be considered as educated. Once the new yardstick is in place, we should find out where we are at. Then proper programs must be devised to increase the education levels at a constituency or ward level.
Why is an average educated Indian whose heart bleeds for his/her country not willing to do anything to uplift the country from the sorry state it is right now in? It is because of fear… fear that one day the criminal arm of the country’s bad elements would reach the person. What if Gandhi thought this way? What if Bhagat Singh were scared of facing the gallows? We would have still been slaves of England.
It takes a single person to start a revolution. You might not be able to make any perceptible impact to India in your life time but small drops do matter. Small things which are in your jurisdiction do make a difference if only you have the correct vision. For instance if you see a person smoking in the corridor of a railway compartment, you can confront him. On your part, you can start by adhering to the rules wherever you can. As a responsible citizen of India, as a person who is writing a five hundred word essay on How to Improve India, it is imperative that you follow the rules first.
Change yourself. Convince yourself. Act upon your ideas. Don’t look for the results.
Hope to see a real revolution.
Venu.
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