When I was in the fifth year of my rather shaky sixteen years of education, I learnt a golden rule. No matter what you do, you are always gonna be the last.

Be it a class exam or a Kabaddi match, I always lost the battle. I was the kid with the least number of accomplishments. I was the only guy to fail in a mathematics test in our class. Our section came last in the Soccer tournament. Our school was the only one to be disqualified from the school level Cricket championship because we could not beat St. Xavier’s after they restricted us to the all time low score of 24.

“I” was the key. Just a year ago, my school was hailed as one of the promising teams. Now, it was down the drains. What changed? “I” was in the team this time.

“I know Dad, it is because of me. Anything connected to me … anything I am part of is bound to lose.”

“Son, you lack self confidence.”

“No dad! It is not self-confidence. It is my confidence of everything MINE.”

The pattern was consistent. I lost. My school lost. My town was defeated. My state came last in

a) Ranji Trophy

b) Duleep Trophy

c) Per capita income

d) IT development

e) Industrial development

But it topped the population charts. I guess I was not alone in this universe.

And lo! It was my country, which was defaced beyond recognition by every damn Tom Dick and Harry cricket team in the world.

“In the best interests of my society, I think I should die.”

“Don’t be foolish. It is not because of you.”

“OK. So how do you explain this “I” Factor?”

“Do you know the Murphy’s Laws?”

So I went to the nearest bookstore and bought the three-volume set of Murphy’s Laws. The first page had just one poem.

If I traveled to the end of the rainbow

As damn fortune did intend

Murphy would be there to tell me

My pot’s at the other end.

So true. I flipped the pages. And there my dear reader, I found a great statement printed in black letters on a yellow paper…

“If anything can go wrong, it will.”

Somewhere in the fine print, it was written – “Murphy’s Laws are applicable only to those who read it.” And the next statement was – “You are the only person reading them you fool!”

All right. So Murphy is right. Hence I am wrong. Thus my enemy is right. And I know he also reads Murphy’s laws. Then why is it happening only to me? Is it the “I” factor?

I had led a very confused life for quite sometime after reading these Murphy’s laws. Then I saw the movie “Pi” which effectively answered all my questions.

It is the 216 phenomenon Goddamnit.

Suppose I go to the mind reader who looks straight into my eyes and says “Forty Nine”, I am bound to see 49 wherever I go. I come out of the psychic and find two San Francisco rookie players wearing the 49Ers T’s. I am amazed. Then I catch my bus whose number is incidentally 49. I casually look out and the house number catches my attention: 4949, Sneath Lane.

Oh… Everywhere it is 49. The psychic was God!

The secret behind this curious phenomenon, called The 216 Phenomenon, is basically the selective observation skills of human beings. Since I am thinking about the number 49, I pay attention to it every time I come across it. Otherwise I just ignore it. It may not be 49. It can be 154 or 98 for that matter.

The bulb then glows.

I am focusing only on the failures of the “I” team. The successes of it are conveniently ignored. India is a bad Cricket team. That is what stays in my mind. The fact that Geet Sethi, Viswanathan Anand and Sania Mirza also belong to India, escapes my selective memory. My school lost the basketball tournament. But my school guys aced the management entrance examination. I did not remember that.

At the end of the day, what matters is however something very different. A can of beer. Instead of reading this junk, get some beer and enjoy life.