Review of "Koi Mil Gaya" - Hindi Movie

Koi Mil Gaya



Punch-line: ET Waapas Aagaya



Yesterday was one of those days. I was alone in the apartment and thanks to Conditional Access System implemented for CableTV in Chennai, my TV could show only the thirty two free channels of which 90% were Indian DoorDarshan channels of strange languages. (Strange at least for me.)



After trying to glue myself to the TV for half an hour, I had to give up. I got onto my Pulsar and raced to Sathyam Multiplex to catch whatever was on the marquee at 10pm.



There were quite a few options but I selected Koi Mil Gaya just because it had my favorite heroine, Pretty Zinta.



So there I was in Studio-5, Sathyam at 9:30pm cautiously spending the last 100 rupees in my pocket. Ah these ICICI ATMs seldom rise to the occasion when needed most.



I was the only "loner" in the theatre. People were looking at me curiously. I ignored those glances and started analyzing the people seated in that matchbox theatre. There was one Chinese couple who were enjoying the Bru coffee ad pretty immensely. Then there were guys and guys and guys in all the "couple" seats except for one which had two girls. Most of them were busy in...



1. Answering a cell phone call.

2. Making a cell phone call.

3. Trying out various ring tones.

4. SMSing feverishly.

5. Playing games on the cell phone.

6. One had this 7250 I suppose. He was taking digital snaps of those two girls I have talked about.



Realization dawned upon me at that instant. India was bound to cross the rest of the world in a matter of years in terms of the number of cell phones per movie theatre.



I think I have totally digressed from the topic here. My ratings will suffer because of this. So what? No review is complete without a detailed description of the people in the theatre - according to the great book on Movie Reviewing written by Venu Vedam.



The movie starts alright with a pretty obvious Star Wars hangover. Why do our film-makers try to ape Hollywood in each and every aspect of movie making? What exactly is the value-add by having those titles designed that way? Is it an unwritten rule that every science fiction movie should follow the foot-steps of Star Wars?



Hence we have a solid begining. Expectations have been set accordingly. Prelude follows. Dad dies. Mom gets hurt. Baby in the womb get hit on the head. So we have a mentally challenged kid whose mental age and physical age are not in harmony. (Shadows of "Big")



Hritik tries sincerely to portray the character of a grown up man having a mental age of around 12. His work needs to be applauded. He is bound to get a filmfare award but I think he has a fair chance of getting the National award this time.



From here the movie keeps its pace. It has a tight screenplay but some obvious "errors". The aliens are contacted by sending "sound waves" into the space. It is beyond my comprehension to understand this particular protocol. Last checked, sound waves needed a medium of propagation and could not travel in vacuum. I satisfied myself by proposing that he was actually sending EM waves and not Sound waves.



But as soon as the "send" transmission occurs, the reply is there. It is instantaneous. There is absolutely no lag. It is as if Tom, Dick and Harry are chatting over a pint of wine in their living room.



Alright I am nit-picking. Can't help it. They can't release a science fiction movie which disrespects Science. But they need to be pardoned because Pretty Zinta is the cutest girl in the whole universe. I wonder why the alien did not fall in love with Pretty.



The aliens arrive amidst much fanfare. (Read electromagnetic impulses). The town loses all electric transmission. Even torch lights don't work when the alien ship is flying over the town. The electromagnetic wave has even affected the candles! What you know! Aliens do know something that we don't.



The alien ship is again a very obvious hangover of "Independence Day". Tacky special effects when they were not needed. So the aliens get down from the ship, inspect the jungle, get scared by the elephants and run away. Amidst the chaos, "Jadoo" is lost in the jungle. He hides in the jungle. (he or She? I don't know.)



Inspector "Always Right" is Mukesh Rishi. He concludes that one alien life form is at large on planet Earth because he can trace all the alien footsteps into the jungle and then to the space ship except for one which does not come back! Who says Indian police is inefficient? So he calls up "Indian Space Research Organization" to talk to one Mr. Subramaniam who tries his best to look like Yashpal Sharma.



So ISRO and the police force along with three phoren scientists presumably from NASA are searching every inch of the jungle to catch "Jadoo".



So where does "jadoo" surface? In the outhouse of Hritik. So the ET err.. Jadoo befriends Hritik and his gang. They are on cloud nine. They are mesmerized by the supernatural powers of Jadoo. Jadoo can make them fly. Jadoo can make them strong. Jadoo can cure Hritik and make him a real adult! Jadoo can make the kids win a Basketball game. No I am not talking about the Absent Minded Professor. I am talking about Koi Mil Gaya.



But all these not without trouble. Jadoo loses its power if there is no dhoop (Heat). He needs to be in sunlight to let the kids fly over their opponents to score that precious last basket in the game. But sun's not shining. You can't make hay! So Hritik prays. Bruce Almighty just then does a "grant all wishes". So there is broad sunshine. The boys begin flying. The referees don't mind it anyway.



So what happens next? Are you really asking this question? My fifth standard nephew can guess that the police and NASA and ISRO finally zero in on the alien. They try to snatch the ET.. err. alien from Hritik. How they tackle the situation is everyone's guess. Still I can't give it away here. Go and watch ET.. err.. Koi Mil Gaya to know what happens next.



An advise to Rakesh Roshan and the other Bollywood producers and directors. You don't have to bring in special "special effects" just for the heck of it. A normal spaceship would have pretty much sufficed your requirements but you had to go for an Independence Day ship.



Alright. It is your movie. It worked. It is a hit. So I can't complain. Make hay while the sun shines. Tomorrow is another day. It will be another dog's day.



All the teary eyed, happy faces in Studio 5 pulled out their cell phones at once and started...



1. Answering a cell phone call.

2. Making a cell phone call.

3. Trying out various ring tones.

4. SMSing feverishly.

5. Playing games on the cell phone.

6. The 7250 guy took one last picture of the girls in question. I guess he will treasure it for the next one day!



Guess the world goes on as usual. No apocalypse now.



I had fun. I didn't like the movie. But I liked Ms Pretty and I liked the songs. It was seventy rupees well spent.



Have fun

Platy