Labels

About Me

My photo
Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Just an insignificant addition to the world's population.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Creativity and Relativity

What is creative to me is not creative to you (and vice versa).

 

Well, what exactly is “Creativity”? Is it the ability to “create” something? If I write a sentence, I am creating a fresh instance of that sentence (doesn’t matter if I copied it from Wikipedia – it still is a fresh instance.) So the sentence thus created is a fine example of “Creativity”? I have my own reservations about it. However I do realize that Relativity plays an important role here. It all depends on the reference frame (and the frame of mind of the observer.) It is just not Physics. It is Psychology too. It is not sufficient to pinpoint the coordinates of the observer in the universe. You should also describe the mental makeup of the observer because this mental make decides how he or she or it is going to perceive what he or she or it is observing.

 

Maybe you are lost there. Let me take an example. Rama, apart from being a good boy, is our observer. Bheem Bhai is our second observer.

 

Rama is standing inside the company campus near the Smoker’s Gazebo (or whatever it is called). Bheem Bhai is standing right next to Rama. While there sure is a couple of dozens of inches of space between the two observers, we can probably assume with our fingers crossed that it is a fair statement albeit an approximation that both these observers are on the same observation platform. Thus any physical phenomenon occurring in the space in front of them should look the same to both. Right?

 

WRONG.

 

Rama has just been given a nice dressing down by his boss. Reason? Rama doesn’t agree with the Creative Framework that his boss has prepared. Rama is sure that his appraisal is going to be worse than expected. He is hence angry with every damn thing under the sun – over the sun – by the side of the sun – Java – MySQL (because all these are Sun products – at least now.)

 

Bheem Bhai is a remarkable young man. He talks only when it is absolutely necessary for him to talk. Most of the times he doesn’t even listen to what people around him say. The age old adage inside the campus goes thus. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction assuming we are not talking about Bheem Bhai.”

 

Why he is standing near the Gazebo today – is hardly a matter of debate – not because everyone knows the reason… but because everyone knows Bheem Bhai doesn’t need a reason for doing anything. He is pretty random. He hates Reason. (That’s what others say. He doesn’t say anything anyway.)

 

Enough of character development. In fact I am getting increasingly tempted to feature Bheem Bhai in my next unfinished story but for the time being let us move on to the “incident” that these two caricatures are going to observe.

 

You should make a mental note that the incident I am going to describe is exactly what it is… a description of the incident from my point of view. It may not be the actual incident because it is only my perception. To understand this perception of mine better, you need to – you guessed it! You need to understand me! So for the next five hundred words I must talk about myself – my childhood, my interests, my blood pressure levels.

 

Or you can do yourself a favor and bestow that esteemed title of “Absolute Observer” on me. I understand it is an “assumption” but maybe we can live with one.

 

The incident – A guy from facilities is carrying two large suitcases all the way from God knows where to a Tata Indica waiting on the road while the owner of the suitcases is smoking a cigarette (the whole area is a smoking zone, you see. If you don’t see, go back to my talk on – Absolutism of Relativity, the podcast of which is available on my blog.)

 

Let’s get back to Rama:

 

Rama’s view of the incident: The guy is smoking while the poor facilities fellow is fretting. This is the gap between the rich and the poor; the haves and the have-nots; the PMs and the SEs; the Delivery folks and the Facilities team; the Onsite traveler and the Offshore Reveler. World is indeed not fair. I see a gross social, economic, philosophical, materialistic, monumental, civic, geographical, Florida-ic injustice happening right in front of my eyes.

 

Now, Bheem Bhai’s view: There are two guys. One is smoking. The other is carrying two suitcases.

 

Depending on who you ask – assuming you have the ability to extract information from Bheem Bhai – you get two different observation reports of the same event.

 

That’s where the mental makeup or the personality of the observer assumes importance. When you define an observation desk or a reference frame next – ensure that you take care of the mental makeup of the reference frame too. Believe me, what you had for breakfast in the morning – dictates whether you find a particular post in Creative – creative or not!

 

Thus, The Special Theory of Creativity. Or is it the General Theory of Creativity?

 

And yeah! in case you are still searching for that podcast, here's a tip: Go get a life.

We Condemn!

Don't we? It is what we do - day in and day out - Condemn the dastardly attack on the spirit of X (Replace X with Mumbai/Hyderabad/Ahmedabad/Bangalore/Delhi/Guwahati/India). Our honorable home minister wastes no time in issuing a strong condemnation. We are experts of condemning. We are the best in this area. After every attack, we see a million such statements from every Tom, Dick and Harry. This apparently absolves them of the guilt, the responsibility and the blame.

You cannot blame me - See? I condemned it the moment it happened.

Condemn it damn it... The sooner you do it, the better it is for the media. They can show it as a "Breaking News" on their marquee. "So and So condemned the incident", "Expressed solidarity with the people of", "Pledged support", "weed out terrorism". If they don't have such breaking news, they will show live coverage of the strategic positions of our NSG commandos, the snipers who are trying to gun down the terrorists and the police strategy - Everything will be covered live and will be seen by everyone including those terrorists. Unless the Police ask them not to, the TV channels will not stop this coverage. After all, this is breaking news and TRP ratings are sure to fly off the roof.

So please condemn my deal politicians... Condemn as fast as you can. Make a mockery of our system.

Whoever is reading this - Take a deep breath and gather all your inner strength and say "I CONDEMN THESE ATTACKS. I DO. Now, what is the score of New Zealand?"

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Say Nah-NO to Tata!

The recent controversy in Singur about the land allocated to Tata Nano project received widespread criticism from all quarters of the society except people belonging to the Trinamool Congress party.

“Clearly Anti-Development” cried one newspaper. “West Bengal is pulling down India’s image as an investment friendly nation.” lamented an editorial. “The dream of millions of middle class people to own a car – squashed and murdered” said a thoughtful journalist.

It was as if the entire nation was up in arms against Trinamool Congress. Tata’s knee jerk reaction of “pulling out from West Bengal” was met with expected gasps from everyone.

As George W. Bush Junior once famously said, “You are with us or with them!”, anyone who is not excited by the very concept of a cheap car like Nano is automatically thought to be a Mamata Banerjee devotee.

I hate Nano. I am not a sympathizer of Trinamool Congress. And I don’t idolize Mamata Banerjee. If you feel this is an impossible situation, I don’t blame you. We have been brainwashed by the media for years that Small Car is Good for Middle Class Indians.

Why am I against Nano? To start with, let us talk about Global Warming. What exactly are we doing to arrest this menace? Sunderbans are going to disappear. The Government itself released a report a couple of days ago predicting a grim future for our coastal economic hubs such as Chennai and Mumbai. The report says that the “refugees” from these two cities will make the in-land cities such as Hyderabad and Bangalore even more congested.

Can the infrastructure of these cities keep pace with the incoming millions?

The answer is an emphatic no. When the ailing infrastructure of these cities (Chennai and Mumbai included) is unable to handle today’s crowd, how can we expect them to ramp up on a war footing basis to accommodate the multifold increase in the number of people?

Alright. Maybe you don’t believe that Global Warming is a reality. (There are people who say it is all hogwash.) Even then, the infrastructure vows of these cities are appalling. At six in the evening a drive from Tolichowki of Hyderabad to Himayat Nagar of Hyderabad takes about an hour. The distance covered is hardly 10 kilometers. Thanks to a booming economy and increased buying power of the metro Indians, traffic on the already choked roads is growing at an alarming rate.

Everyone wants to drive a car. Everyone wants to drive a luxury car. Public transportation is a taboo word – rightly so. The buses are in dilapidated condition. The local train service doesn’t cover even 1% of the office/school going crowd.

Now, imagine what Nano can do to this situation. A car for 1 lakh – a budget that quite a few motorcycle owners can stretch to. This will lead to an uncontrollable increase in the number of vehicles plying on our battered streets. If you think you’ve experienced bad traffic jams, wait till Nano makes its debut.

The Nano Jams…

At a juncture when the focus should actually be on improving the public transportation system, reducing the carbon footprint we leave behind and discouraging gas guzzling four wheelers, we are all awed about Nano – the potential death knell to the environment in this part of the world.

Mamata Banerjee may not have thought about all this. However she did the right thing. Nano should be driven out – not only from West Bengal – but from the entire world.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

iPhone 3G, Steve Jobs and “I am Rich!”

I have been reading a lot of articles about iPhone 3G these days. Somehow I can't get enough of it. A couple of articles made me literally roll on the floor laughing.

Let me talk about them.

If you own an iPhone 3G, you can buy third party apps for it, through iTunes. However there is a catch. All such third party apps need to be approved by Apple first. And guess who approves these at Apple? According to a report, probably a rumor - It is none other than Steve Jobs himself. Apparently he cannot trust any of his deputies to do this highly skilled mission critical job. Hail the dictator!

Ok. Maybe we should not believe such preposterous rumors. What is evident is that the team which authorizes these iPhone applications is very small and is commanded by none other than Steve Jobs.

As a fall out of this, there is an insane wait period for getting your application listed on the App Store. It is around seven to eight months! There are hundreds of wonderful Apps and games out there waiting to be listed.

But maybe this is all for the greater good. When you buy an App from iTunes, you are assured that it is a great App and that it is not Joker! Yes? Hell no! A very creative App titled "I am Rich" has found its way on to the impregnable Apple iPhone Apps store. This happens to be the most expensive App ever - with a price tag of 999.99 USD. (Why this price? Because that the maximum price limit set by Apple for iPhone Apps).

All that this application does, is to display a bright red ruby on your phone. When you click on it, it displays a message "I am Rich." The idea is that if you have this application on your phone, it signifies how rich you are. You have spent close to a grand to earn that title.

What can be sillier than this? Guess what! Eight people actually bought it. Some of them were perplexed, it seems, because the application did nothing much. They complained to Apple whining that they didn't buy it intentionally and that it was a mistake. Last checked everyone needed to enter his or her password and confirm the purchase on the App Store. So how they ended up buying the App "unintentionally" is a mystery best left to Sherlock Holmes.

Well, finally Apple relented and pulled the application off the shelf. It reportedly refunded the amount too.

My opinion? It is a very creative thought by the developer. If there are people willing to buy the application why take it off the list? The application has already undergone a screening test conducted by none other than Steve Jobs!

"I am Rich" may not be missed by people but there are a couple of other applications that met the same fate as this one. There's an app that allowed your iPhone 3G to be used as a Modem so that you could surf the net from your laptop. This is in direct contradiction with the contract Apple has with AT&T. (Such a blasphemy! Intelligent Customers are taboo!) So the application was pulled out.

Question to Steve Jobs: How did it get into the App store in the first place?

The so called impregnable App Store apparently has a secret passage or two. Nothing else can explain the need for the "Kill Switch" that Apple put on the iPhone 3G. The phone calls home (Cupertino, 1 - Infinite Loop) periodically and checks a list of "Harmful" applications on the iPhone. If there are any such apps, the Kill Switch swings into action and kills the application on your phone - All this without your knowledge. (Till date, this list is empty by the way.)

Questions to Steve Jobs again:

1. If every application on the App Store is authenticated by Apple (Steve Jobs in particular), what is the need for the Kill Switch?
2. When you said "Harmful" who exactly is it harmful to? AT&T or the actual consumer?
3. What is the policy for killing an App or approving an App to be on the App Store?
4. If Apple can sell Apps to Indian Consumers, what is stopping it from selling iTunes music to the consumers in India?
5. Why disable Podcasts for Indian consumers?

Steve Jobs again is the talk of the town these days... apparently for non-technical reasons. His health has been called into question. The rumor mill is working over time saying Jobs has cancer. The investors are tense. The problem is, there is no strong second-in-line for Jobs. And if Jobs himself has to approve each and every App that wants to get on to the App Store, I don't know what will happen to Apple in the post Steve Jobs era. I hope Jobs is doing fine. May he live a thousand years healthily. But may he remove the dependency on him as soon as possible.

A hunch at the back of my mind tells me that the iPhone 3G is a great entertainment product... Not just for the users but for the entire media world. They are not going to stop talking about it for years to come. And there will be many a rich "I am Rich" App that will entertain us - iPhonians or Not!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Kuselan – Movie Review

I have a strange problem. I cannot watch a movie if I miss the start - even if it is just the display of the censor board certificate.

Therefore, I leave two hours in advance - to factor in the unbelievable traffic snarls of Hyderabad. However, as luck would have it, I do not actually run into any such jams and end up at the movie hall one-hour early feeling like a complete dufus.

The movie starts promptly at 7:30pm.

Before I go any further, let me state this: Rajni Kanth does not have much of a role in this movie. So if you are thinking that this is a Rajni paDam, wake up and smell the decaf! The hero of this movie is Pasupathy. Rajni only has an extended guest role.

The first hour is incredible. The titles are imaginatively shot. Pasupathy gives a stellar performance as a poor but upright barber in this fictitious town. You see only the barber and not Pasupathy. Kudos to him. He should win a national award for this performance.

The movie starts its downslide the moment Rajni Kanth enters the scene.

Did I just say that? Did I say that Rajni heralded a downslide? Never thought I'd live the day to tell you this but let truth be spoken. Rajni the superstar is the main reason why this movie will not be seen in the theatres after three weeks.

Where do I begin? Just to cater to the larger than life image of Rajni, a beautiful little story has been tweaked, raped, defeated - all in the name of "Commercialization". There are sequences that are meant to provide comic relief to the audience but they end up being crass. I have no idea how the movie managed a "U" rating but some of these "funny" scenes are downright X rated. Take my advice: Do not take your kids to this movie.

Vadivelu, I believe, is still a force to reckon with in the Tamil industry. Here he seems as if he is long past his sell-by date. It is excruciatingly painful to sit through his assault on our intellect in the guise of "humor".

But wait! The desert does have its oases. Now and then, you are transported back to what the movie is actually about - the barber. These nice little sojourns to the main theme provide you with the much needed relief and equip you with enough firepower to withstand the idiotic sequences coming next.

The so-called "moving" climax falls absolutely flat - Thomas Freidman would vouch for the flatness of this debacle. I never thought I would say this but Rajni's histrionics in the climax are painfully artificial. He delivers a speech and in the middle, he breaks down. Instead of pumping up the emotions, he successfully manages to send the audience bursting into laughter. You see Rajni Kanth there, "acting"... You do not see Ashok Kumar (the character he is playing) breaking down.

On second thoughts, I do not think it is acting at all. It is more like hamming.

And then, the actual showdown - the moment of truth - the coming together of the titans - the emotional clash of them - the disbelief in the audience - the tempting rage to pull your hair and run out like a rat set free from the cage... Alas! I am running out of adjectives and words. You have to see this movie to understand what the feeling is all about.

Here is a golden rule that the makers seem to have forgotten. There are no "art" movies and "commercial" movies. There are "Good" movies and "bad" movies. The good ones entertain people and keep them riveted to the seat. The bad ones too entertain people - in a clownish way.

Kuselan is one such clown. No offence to the original Kuchelan!

Pasupathy's brilliant portrayal is rendered useless by the insane script.

Stay clear. Skip the DVD.

My rating: 1 out of 5.